Finally I'm feeling guilty. Something really worked.

Since I can think I want to make this world a more beautiful and better place, an I have gotten a huge amount of bullshit reactions to that.

I have received very few and up to date insignificant support for the way I want to that. I'm very grateful for the bit of support I got, believe me that.

After having worn the "Bloody Hands" myself, with the attempt to feel guilt, which I mostly don't, but simply rationally assume declaring myself responsible for all kinds of things and trying hard and as best as I can. A week later it worked. All excuses. My whole life has been an excuse.

I am feeling so incredibly guilty, and man, this is a shit feeling. I am feeling guilty for having posted yesterdays meandering and somewhat obnoxious post. I am feeling guilty for not letting go of being an artist. I am feeling guilty for even attempting to change this world, that everybody is so happy with. So many things, I can't even list them.

The feeling of guilt is amazing. Along with that feeling comes a great portion of feeling helplessly ashamed, and surprisingly enough a strong connection to my fellow humans. From here on, I will focus on the latter.

Tonight is a big "Bloody Hands" night out.